My publisher asked if I wanted to have a crack at the jacket copy for Gemsigns. This is, of course, hugely important; how many of us decide to buy a book – or not – by picking up a likely-looking volume, flipping it over and reading the back? (Or the inside flap of the jacket if it’s a hardcover.) You’d think it wouldn’t be too difficult, but it turns out that 2-3 short, punchy paragraphs that capture the essence of the story without giving too much away, that are enticing enough to hook a prospective reader, are not simple to construct at all. I’ve read my latest draft so many times now it’s a blur. So this is an attempt to crowdsource opinion. Would you buy this book?
Humanity stands on the brink. Again.
Surviving the Syndrome meant genetically altering every person on the planet. But norms and gems are different. Gems may have the superpowers that once made them valuable commodities, but they also have more than their fair share of the disabled, the violent and the psychotic. And a legacy of servitude, to which they will not return.
When the gem Gaela finds an abandoned child with an unregistered ability, events are set in motion that will drag every element of her fractured world into conflict: the vicious intrigues of the gemtech that created her, the holy war of the godgangs, and the fears and prejudices of the norm majority. Ruthless executive Zavcka Klist will do whatever it takes to retrieve little Gabriel. Deformed, unaccountably formidable leader Aryel Morningstar is hiding secrets of her own. Only norm scientist Dr Eli Walker can be trusted to navigate this treacherous terrain, in a desperate search for the truth.
Likes and/or comments much appreciated!
Stephanie Saulter 
akaellisfisher
/ September 15, 2012I think it’s great! It certainly reflects a lot of careful thought and editing. The last paragraph was a real hook!
Since you’re asking (& I’m an ex-editor), I hope a couple minor comments are ok? I did stumble a little bit on the 1st paragraph. One link I didn’t make on the 1st read-through was the idea of genetically altering every person, and then there being 2 groups…one of which was the “norms”, which registered as “normal”, i.e.’not’ altered in my mind. I guess to me, if you’re altered, you’re not normal! So, I had some dissidence between “every person” & “norms”. This may be me being thick headed, as I sometimes am! 🙂 I got it after thinking about it briefly, but maybe adding a sentence between the 1st & 2nd sentence to disambiguate for the speed readers? If the piece is up against a word count, it’s not worth adding.
“…to which they will not return.” ..predictive or defiant? I leaned toward defiant when I read it, but if so, maybe “…to which they refuse to return”? The word retrieve in the 2nd paragraph stuck out. How about “…will do whatever it takes to get little Gabriel back.”?
“Deformed, unaccountably formidable leader Aryel Morningstar…” didn’t flow. Might be a case where having the preposition and conjunction help readability, or maybe different punctuation? “The deformed and unaccountably formidable leader Aryel Morningstar…” or Deformed and unaccountably formidable, leader Aryel Morningstar…”
I know that’s lot of words about a few little things, and I hope I’m not stepping over boundaries (would have preferred to email). Hope you know I’m TOTALLY living vicariously here and am 100% rooting for you!! Love it!! 🙂
akaellisfisher
/ September 15, 2012WordPress took out a word of my post because of punctuation. …Leader might be stronger with an adjective like: “rebel” leader. Ok, I’m leaving now! Best!!
Stephanie Saulter
/ September 15, 2012That is exactly the kind of thoughtful, helpful feedback I was hoping for … Thank you soooo much!